Thursday, January 17, 2008

Fraud Alert....

....and that fraud would be me. There are days I feel like a total fake and today would have to be one of them. And why would I feel like a fraud you ask? Well it's because most of the time I go about my day to day life acting as if money isn't an issue, when in all actuality it's the biggest issue I have, 'cause quite frankly we don't have any. Most people assume that since I am a stay-at-home mom that money isn't an issue for us, but it is and we knew it would be somewhat. We decided years ago that we both wanted me to stay home with the kids until they were in school, just like our moms had done with us. We just didn't realize that it was going to cause the money to be so tight.
My dear sweet hubby works two jobs because we've tried every way we could to find me a job that would allow me to actually bring home money and not have all my pay go towards day care. Since we were unsuccessful my dear sweet hubby had to get that second job. Luckily it's one he doesn't mind going to as it's like second nature to him. He works at a auto parts store and since he knows cars and how they work like the back of his hand, it's really not tough for him to do. Thankfully the second job is very understanding that his main job's schedule can change in an instant. I just really wish he didn't have to have it. I know he likes the discount he gets on auto parts, but I hate the fact that he's always the one leaving to go to work and I'm always the one who gets to stay home.
My dear sweet hubby having a second job is not the only area that money has an effect on, it has an effect on our social lives, what we have of a social life that is. I belong to a club for stay-at-home moms and it has done wonders for my sanity, helping me make a ton of friends, but there are times I have to bow out of an activity because it costs money and we just don't have that extra money. It's rather embarrassing to have to say "No I won't be at that activity because it's cost money, which I don't have" so I usually come up with some other excuse.
And our poor children have gotten so used to hearing "I'm sorry but we can't do this or that because we just don't have the money this month". When my oldest asked if I went birthday gift shopping for her (her birthday is the 22nd of this month) I had to tell her that her party was probably going to be her only gift from us. She just smiled and said "Okay". Bless her sweet heart. It pains me to have to deny her that, but she has to know the truth and so far she hasn't complained or asked why she can't get presents from her parents like other kids do. Also she and her siblings have gotten used to getting more hand-me-downs than new clothes. The girls get so excited when they get some "new" clothes from their older cousin, as they both look up to her immensely.
But hopefully the money issue won't be so bad soon. I'm looking into taking some courses on how to do medical billing and claims, with the hope of getting a job that I can do from home, thus eliminating that need for day care. The one possible hang up is the cost of these courses. It's about $60 a month for probably about 20 months, but hey it may help my dear sweet hubby quit his second job and be home more. So keep your fingers crossed we can fit that expense into our budget. Then maybe if we can I can stop feeling like such a fraud......

3 comments:

Anonymous said...

Julie, your children will never remember that you didn't have any money. They will only remember that you was there for them when they needed you and when they came in from school. I grew up in a home with no money but my memories are of my mother being there for us and of course, my dad making the living.

Anonymous said...

Julie, hang in there. You give your children the greatest gift of all....LOVE. Remember, money can't buy happiness. I know it is so hard when you see everyone else with it and buying things but your day will come when you can too. Just remember to be wise about spending now and try to put a little $ a side when you get extra money. You will be amazed when it accumulates and you find yourself being able to afford a few little extras here and there. Be happy (and it sounds like you are) that you have a loving hubby who works so hard to provide for his family. Sounds like a good man with good family morals. You are a great person and have a lot of gifts to offer your children that do not cost a dime.

Bee said...

If you are a fraud, then so are a lot of other people. Including me. I'm home now because my job was driving me nuts. I'm so glad to be free of that, yet at the same time I do have a little guilt about my husband going to work every day and working very long hours so I can be at home. But it's my guilt and nothing that he does or says is responsible for it. Just like at your house, I'm sure. This is the way he shows them the same love that you do.

Whoever made the first comment here was so right. Your children will remember that you were there for them. To hear you talk about them and the things y'all do together is wonderful. I know they feel that love.

You hang in there. You are a great mom! And in my opinion, not a fraud at all.