Friday, April 17, 2009

I don't want my kids to be afraid of me, but..... else can I get them to understand that it is THEIR responsibility to clean their rooms and put away their clothes??? I've tried asking nicely, explaining the way things work around here and even getting mildly upset but all that seems to get me is two dragging girls who just fight with each other instead of cleaning up their room so they can be released to the rest of the house!!!


I got mad at them this morning, explaining they are 6 & 8, they are MORE than capable of picking up after themselves and putting away their own clothing. I mean I don't ask them to clean the whole dang house or even do their own laundry. I just want them to pick up their toys and books and put away their clothes!!!

That's not asking too much is it???

I remember when I was younger and my mom would tell us to clean our room, if we didn't do it she would come in and use her arm to clear off our dressers, dumping everything on them onto the floor, making a bigger mess for us to clean up. Then she'd say through her teeth "NOW CLEAN IT ALL UP!" and boy oh boy did we ever!!! But somehow if I were to try to do that now, Peaches would probably curl up and cry and Tink would just continue to goof off. I don't know what I'm doing wrong.

I don't want to clean it all for them and have them think that if they stall or goof off eventually Mom will get so frustrated she'll clean it all up for them. 'Cause Heaven knows I don't like cleaning any more than they do but I HAVE to clean, it's basically my job these days, besides taking care of them.

And I hate that I'm so frustrated again!!! It's just plain annoying to feel this way. Am I the only one who feels like this??? Or are there other moms out there who feel like they can't win for trying???

You know, they say "misery loves company" and I could certainly use some company right about now.....*sigh*


dede said...

my boys are all cleaning their rooms right now - Reagan got the dresser sweep! With Wesley, he does MUCH better if I am real specific with him - he puts away his own clothes BUT I hand them to him in different piles (here are your pants, ok now come gets your pj's, bring me 5 hangers, etc.) It seems that we go through clean/messy spells - right now is a messy one (which will have to end by dinner time because we have company coming over!) Best of luck (I am listening to The Curse of the Blue Tattoo while I am cleaning today :)

Bee said...

We got the dresser-sweep, too. Sometimes it worked, sometims it didn't. What I think works more is taking away priveledges. It might be rough sometimes and hard on you, but when they see you mean business, they'll do it. Don't yell or threaten. Tell them if they don't clean their room, they're not watching TV or going to a birthday party. Or they have to spend Saturday morning in their room with just a book to keep them company. Whatever is most important to them. And then follow through. Anna missed a birthday party and a halloween carnival, but she got the message and it eventually got easier.

Hugs to you. You're a great mother and they won't be afraid of you for laying down the law.

Lindsay said...

Oh, that all sounds sooo familiar. My boys won't clean, won't brush their teeth and won't go to bed when they are supposed to. Maybe, we arent' being mean enough. A different generation ago, it was acceptable to spank/hit your kids to keep them in line. I know I had my fair share of belts across my bare behind! But, now, people get thrown in jail for even regular old swats on the butt. My husband was at the grocery store the other day. There was a woman trying to get her toddler to put his legs into the cart correctly. He kept stiffening his legs and struggling against her. My husband said that she swatted him once on the butt (he had a diaper on and it wasn't a hard swat). A woman standing by observing this picked up her cell phone and called Social Services on her. Come on, really??? Is this was we have resorted to these days? I am all for a swat now and then to remind our hard headed offspring who is really in charge. But, come on, there is no need to cry wolf everytime a child gets said swat.
I am not one to instantly resort to using the heavy hand. I try to explain and ask nicely. But, sometimes the "hairy eyeball" works too. Kids know that look that you give them which says you mean business.
I feel your pain...sometimes it is just easier for me to just clean up the mess myself. That way there are no tears (except for mine).