..in God that is.
I have several friends who are religious and I sometimes wish I had their ability to believe and have that faith that there is a God, but no matter how hard I may try, I just can't.
I don't know if it's because I grew up with an atheist for a father or not, but I just don't have it in me to believe. I seem to be a more "I'll believe when I see it" kind of gal. And since no one can seem to provide concrete scientific proof that God exists, I just can't go there.
Sometimes I think it would be easier if I was able to believe and join that community that goes to church each weekend. Because it can feel pretty isolating when you don't talk about having to drag the kids to church, or fighting with them to get dressed nice enough to go.
But in the end I don't think it makes me a bad person because I can't believe....does it? I mean I'm a responsible citizen who tries to do right by her fellow man and takes the best care she can of her family. I don't steal, do drugs or other crimes. I just can't believe in something I can't have proof of.
But this doesn't mean I can't do my version of praying for those I know in need. For instance a friend of mine has a son who is sick and in the PICU right now, and she's expressed gratitude for all the prayers they are getting. Now I know most people consider praying to be done solely to God, but my version is a very strong hope that things improve. Again I don't think this is bad of me to do, praying without actually praying to God, at least I hope it isn't.
You may be wondering if because I can't believe in God if it makes me an atheist, well I don't think so. I prefer to think of myself as agnostic, I don't believe in God but that doesn't mean you can't. And I'm not going to sit here and tell you that you are wrong for believing, if you do, and I do hope that you won't tell me I'm wrong for not believing.
Just think how much better of a world we could be living in if everyone took the "Live and let live" ideal to heart.....