Friday, August 20, 2010

Why is it so much harder with the baby???

Leaving them in their kindergarten classroom, I mean.

Today was Little Man's third day of all day kindergarten and maybe it was because he was tired after a long week or maybe it was because he knew I was going to go help his old pre-school teacher for a little bit this morning, but whatever the reason he cried when I left him.

He didn't do that the first day.

He didn't do that the second day.

Nope he did it the third day when mommy had plans to do something right after she dropped him off.


Of course this was all made worse because last night as I was putting him to bed he said he missed me during the day while he was at school. Naturally my heart sank and I was ready to pull him out of all day kindergarten and put him in the half day class instead. At least we'd have our afternoons together.

But that won't work.

I'm looking for a job and it would be so much easier if he was in school all day like his sisters. And I know and love the teacher he has, so I know he's in good hands.

But it's that mommy guilt that gets me.

And it gets me so much more with him than it did with his sisters. Who knows maybe I had it with them but I was just so busy with another child at home that I didn't notice it.

Or maybe it's just that I know he's my baby and I'm trying so desperately to hang on to his still being my baby that I can't bear to let him grow up.

Who knows, but I do know that tonight we are going to get plenty of snuggle time together.....he may be growing up but he's still young enough to like snuggling with mommy....thank goodness for that!!!

Little Man cried again Monday morning so I told him I would come back and have lunch with him if he'd let me leave. He agreed so I went back for lunch. I talked to his teacher and we agreed that I should not walk him in anymore and see how that goes. So this morning I just dropped the kids off and left. He didn't cry and ran from the car smiling, so I'm thinking that is the solution. However I have to wonder how he reacted when his sisters (don't know which one or if it was both) walked him into class..........


Bauerfamilyof5 said...

Awwww....I can see that. I'm sure I'll feel the same way, although right now the freedom sounds really nice!!

Toni said...

Ditto to Megan. I can't even imagine life with zero at home during the day. This mama feels like it's going to be forever before she feels that way!!