Wednesday, July 6, 2011

Genetics.....a blessing or a curse???

Okay so I can't really complain about my genetics.

I mean I am 5'9" tall which I'm told most women would like to be, even though I've found it to be a kind of hindrance in my life sometimes. I also have been told I look younger than I really am, which I thank my youthful looking mother for.

But then again I do have my real father's temper, which I'm not so grateful for. I grew up with that. I don't want my kids to grow up with it too. So I'm taking measures to make sure that doesn't happen.

But then there are the genetics that we don't learn about in 8th grade science. Like the genes that can make it a whole lot easier for you to get cancer or other ailments.

Why am I talking about this oh-so-happy topic? Well my sister was diagnosed with breast cancer back in February and now it looks like I'm about to find out if that same fate could await me. On August 2nd I have to go in for genetic testing and if it's found I have the BRCA I & II gene then I'll be more than likely going in for a double mastectomy. I know, you are probably thinking "Isn't that a bit radical and extreme?" But insurance companies prefer to pay for that and a reconstruction than cancer treatment down the line. And if it means avoiding cancer, never having to have a mammogram and having perky girls again, then where's the downside?

Then there are my DSH's genes. His mom had a problem with a too-short Achilles tendon and DSH had the same problem. And his dad was just diagnosed with prostate cancer, which DSH's dad's dad died from back in the late 70's. So now DSH has to be proactive about his prostate health as well. And we can't forget that my mother-in-law has diabetes, which her father had as well, so now that's another thing we have to be on the lookout for with DSH.

With all that we have had happen health-wise with our families it makes me worry about what we've passed on to our children. But then again if we sit and worry about that all day long then people would stop having children and the human race would die out.

So I guess for as much as genetics is a crap shoot we just have to put a blind eye to what 'may' happen and roll the dice anyway.

Tuesday, June 14, 2011

An attitude of gratitude

I mean, honestly, how hard can it be to have an attitude of gratitude?

Well kind of hard sometimes.

With my sister's and my father-in-law's recent cancer diagnosis' and the unexpected death of an old friend, I'm trying so very hard to be grateful for all that I have. But some days I fail miserably.

But isn't it human to be like that? Kind of? (note: my head is tilted to the side with a puzzled look on my face with that last question)

So let's see, what am I grateful for.....

Well my family I grew up with for one, especially my mom and sister and even more especially (is that correct grammar?)that my mom is right there for my sister during her time of need.

Then there is my family that my DSH and I made, they may frustrate the snot out of me most days (DSH included) but dang I couldn't love them more if I tried.

And I can't forget my extended family that my DSH gave me when we married. I honestly got lucky with that one. From the horror stories I've heard of in-laws, I'm so very very very lucky for these sweet people!!!

My house, it's not perfect but keeps us nice and dry and when it's clean it doesn't look too too bad. ;)

My job, even if I make stupid mistakes that I beat myself up over and spend all night trying to figure out how to make it right the next day. I love it and the people I work with. Honestly it is the perfect job for me!

My car. My beloved BB, aka Beautiful Behemoth. She's big but she makes it so driving places doesn't result in WWIII between my kiddos. And she's not a minivan!!!

Now for what I'm not so grateful for:

My bad habits, like being too lazy to keep up on the housework. I'd say that it was a side effect of having a job, but I was kind of like that before hand, so it wouldn't be a valid excuse. *blushing*

People who are rude and/or mean. I mean I cannot stand it when people hang up on you without saying goodbye! Since when did saying "goodbye" become a passe thing to do??? Do we need to revisit manners class people????

Smokers who throw their cigarette butts out the window. The world's not your ashtray people!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Okay, okay enough of what I'm not grateful for. But I guess the point I'm trying to make is no matter how hard you try to find things to be grateful for it's so easy to find things to not be grateful for. I keep trying to look at the positive side of things, but what positive side is there to someone throwing their cigarette butt out their car window as they are driving??? I can't find one, can you?

Alright, I know, I get snarky, so I'll stop. *sigh* So with that I'll insert my one of my favorite Monty Python scenes which happens to go so nicely with this post.....Take it away boys.......www.youtube.com/watch?v=WlBiLNN1NhQ

Saturday, May 14, 2011

It's been a LONG 3 months...

Oh where do I begin....let's see how about right after my last post.

I GOT A JOB!!!!!!!! Yay me! I now work for the Girl Scouts of Colorado and I LOVE IT!!!! So that was good.

But right before I got that news I got some not so good news.....my sister was diagnosed with breast cancer. Talk about a sucker punch to the gut. She was determined to think positive when she told me so that helped a ton! In her words "I'm too stubborn to let this get me!" That'a girl!!!!

Then a few days later I got my job. I was excited but then again not as excited as I could be.

THEN on the day of my sister's surgery to remove the cancer we learned that my father-in-law has prostate cancer! Really??? Is this some kind of sick joke??? It's not very funny at all if you ask me!

Poor DSH is having a hard time with this as his father's father died of prostate cancer. And even though they've come so far with cancer treatment since the late 70's/early 80's, it's still hard to think of your father having what your grandfather died from.

Then DSH applied for a promotion that would relocate us to Oregon. We would have only been 5-6 hours away from family. We tried to not get our hopes up but his interview went so well that we couldn't help but get carried away. Looking at houses online, checking out the area....but then he found out that they went with someone else. Probably someone closer so they didn't have to pay the moving expense that they would have to pay if they had chosen DSH. I was slightly relieved because it took me so long to find my job, which I love, and I was worried about finding a job in a town with 1/5 the population of our current city. But I was also so very sad that DSH got turned down again. He works so hard and has tried so many times to get promoted and moved out of his current terminal that his poor ego has taken quite the beating. And while I'm pretty darn sure that he hasn't been chosen yet because he's not close enough geographically and it's cheaper to go with someone closer, it's hard for him to not take it personally. So we are back to hoping something good will come along soon.

And as for my sister and DSH's father, they both sailed through their surgeries with no complications, thank goodness. My FIL does not have to have chemo but unfortunately my sister does. She's very discouraged by this, as hair loss is inevitable along with a multitude of other side effects, but my mom and I keep telling her that it's better than the alternative. So if you have a moment please think a positive thought for our family members with cancer and also hope for a cure of this dreaded disease soon!!!

Thursday, February 10, 2011

Just call me Slacker

I admit that I haven't had much to post about lately, but usually I don't have a problem rambling on even when that is the case. So just call me Slacker when it comes to posting lately.

Oh sure I visit here to listen to my tunes. If there's one thing I can't live without it's my tunes. So then, if music soothes the savage beast, does that mean I'm a savage slacker???

I have no clue, nothing unusual there, but I do know that I really need to get out of the funk I've been in lately and get back to what makes me happy, rambling on to no one in particular.

So if I go too long without posting again please call me on it! Call me a slacker for not keeping up with this. As apparently when left to my own devices I can be quite lazy.....

Friday, January 14, 2011

I'm tired

I'm tired of:

the cold weather

never going on vacation anymore

not having money for stuff

not having a clean and tidy house

having children who don't get the picture even when I do turn into Mean Mommy

of interviewing for jobs but not getting them

of taking a chance and posting I have an interview on Facebook then having to post that I didn't get the job and therefore making people feel compelled to comment on how sorry they are

of my husband going to bed early and then getting upset when the kids wake him up (well who didn't lock the bedroom door or put in ear plugs????)

And I'm just plain tired of being tired!!!

Monday, January 10, 2011

Good friends are to find

But oh so important to keep.

I have one friend M, who I will admit I was not all that keen on when I first met her, but oh how she has grown on me.

I think my fondness grew when I was first pregnant with Little Man. They weren't sure it was a viable pregnancy so I was to go in to have an ultrasound done. Well I didn't know anyone well enough to ask them to watch my girls so I was going to take them with me. A mutual friend of mine and M's found out and since M lives in my neighborhood, she called M and told her. Then M promptly called me to say that I was going to bring my girls over to her house to play with her girls so I didn't have to take them with me. Then when I returned to pick up the girls and told her that there was a viable egg in there she promptly gave me a big hug, and if I'm not mistaken teared up a bit.

Since then we've been good friends but I think today our friendship grew even more. My car battery died this morning. Thankfully my hubby was able to jump my battery for me, but it died again after I turned it off when I dropped my kids off at school. I called M to see if she was near by to give my battery a jump. She wasn't near by and was actually on her way to meet another friend for coffee, but she cancelled that and showed up to jump my car. She even brought me a mocha!!! Then we headed back to her house so her husband could put my car on a battery charger.

We visited till she had to leave to pick up her youngest from pre-school and the battery wasn't fully charged yet. So she dropped me off at home and just called me a few minutes ago to say the battery was all charged and I could come by to get it.

And all I can say is good friends like her are so hard to find, but oh so important to keep. Thanks M for helping me out this morning and please know that if I am able I will most certainly do the same for you!!!!!!!!!!!!

Tuesday, January 4, 2011

Hi my name is July and I am overwhelmed

Yep, I admitted it. I'm a stay-at-home mom of three kids, ages almost 10, almost 8, and 5 1/2, who is on a fruitless search for employment with a husband who works two jobs 7 days a week and I am overwhelmed.

I'm already on medication for anxiety but it doesn't seem to work very well but I can't afford the medication that would work, or at least it seemed to work really well before I had to stop taking it because my free sample ran out and I can't afford $80/month for it. So I take the stuff that only costs $4 a month and it does okay.

With money tight, the house shrinking and no signs of employment on the horizon it's probably pretty obvious that I'm a bit stressed. But I'm trying my absolute hardest to stay positive. It's not easy, trust me. There are days where I want to scream so hard that my vocal chords would bleed, but I can't.

I can't let it get to me, or all is lost. Because as we all know the mother is the emotional center of the family and if I lose it then everyone will.

So each day I'll continue to have a smile on my face and a daydream in my head, in hopes that some day, some way, it will all work out

Monday, January 3, 2011

New year....new me???

I can't believe I'm about to type the next sentence......

In seven months I have my 20th high school reunion and it's time to whip this body into shape so no one feels the urge to ask when I'm due.

No seriously if I were to wear the right shirt/dress I'd seriously look like #4 was on it's way. I seem to carry a majority of my excess weight in my belly area. So now it's time to get into a healthy routine and actually use my treadmill for something other than a dust collector.

Of course I should have done this close to 5 years ago when Little Man was a baby, but who has time for exercise when you are a stay-at-home mom to three kids under 5? Of course I could have done it last year when the kids were 5,7 & 9. But I didn't.

But now that I have a deadline of when I want to have the excess weight gone I think I'll do much better. I seem to do better at stuff when I have a deadline. Like cleaning my house really good when I know I have out of town company coming.

Maybe it's my procrastinating nature, I don't know, but I sure seem to work better under pressure.

So here's hoping the pressure of seeing people I haven't seen in almost two decades will help whip my butt into shape, literally. ;)