Friday, January 14, 2011

I'm tired

I'm tired of:

the cold weather

never going on vacation anymore

not having money for stuff

not having a clean and tidy house

having children who don't get the picture even when I do turn into Mean Mommy

of interviewing for jobs but not getting them

of taking a chance and posting I have an interview on Facebook then having to post that I didn't get the job and therefore making people feel compelled to comment on how sorry they are

of my husband going to bed early and then getting upset when the kids wake him up (well who didn't lock the bedroom door or put in ear plugs????)

And I'm just plain tired of being tired!!!

Monday, January 10, 2011

Good friends are to find

But oh so important to keep.

I have one friend M, who I will admit I was not all that keen on when I first met her, but oh how she has grown on me.

I think my fondness grew when I was first pregnant with Little Man. They weren't sure it was a viable pregnancy so I was to go in to have an ultrasound done. Well I didn't know anyone well enough to ask them to watch my girls so I was going to take them with me. A mutual friend of mine and M's found out and since M lives in my neighborhood, she called M and told her. Then M promptly called me to say that I was going to bring my girls over to her house to play with her girls so I didn't have to take them with me. Then when I returned to pick up the girls and told her that there was a viable egg in there she promptly gave me a big hug, and if I'm not mistaken teared up a bit.

Since then we've been good friends but I think today our friendship grew even more. My car battery died this morning. Thankfully my hubby was able to jump my battery for me, but it died again after I turned it off when I dropped my kids off at school. I called M to see if she was near by to give my battery a jump. She wasn't near by and was actually on her way to meet another friend for coffee, but she cancelled that and showed up to jump my car. She even brought me a mocha!!! Then we headed back to her house so her husband could put my car on a battery charger.

We visited till she had to leave to pick up her youngest from pre-school and the battery wasn't fully charged yet. So she dropped me off at home and just called me a few minutes ago to say the battery was all charged and I could come by to get it.

And all I can say is good friends like her are so hard to find, but oh so important to keep. Thanks M for helping me out this morning and please know that if I am able I will most certainly do the same for you!!!!!!!!!!!!

Tuesday, January 4, 2011

Hi my name is July and I am overwhelmed

Yep, I admitted it. I'm a stay-at-home mom of three kids, ages almost 10, almost 8, and 5 1/2, who is on a fruitless search for employment with a husband who works two jobs 7 days a week and I am overwhelmed.

I'm already on medication for anxiety but it doesn't seem to work very well but I can't afford the medication that would work, or at least it seemed to work really well before I had to stop taking it because my free sample ran out and I can't afford $80/month for it. So I take the stuff that only costs $4 a month and it does okay.

With money tight, the house shrinking and no signs of employment on the horizon it's probably pretty obvious that I'm a bit stressed. But I'm trying my absolute hardest to stay positive. It's not easy, trust me. There are days where I want to scream so hard that my vocal chords would bleed, but I can't.

I can't let it get to me, or all is lost. Because as we all know the mother is the emotional center of the family and if I lose it then everyone will.

So each day I'll continue to have a smile on my face and a daydream in my head, in hopes that some day, some way, it will all work out

Monday, January 3, 2011

New me???

I can't believe I'm about to type the next sentence......

In seven months I have my 20th high school reunion and it's time to whip this body into shape so no one feels the urge to ask when I'm due.

No seriously if I were to wear the right shirt/dress I'd seriously look like #4 was on it's way. I seem to carry a majority of my excess weight in my belly area. So now it's time to get into a healthy routine and actually use my treadmill for something other than a dust collector.

Of course I should have done this close to 5 years ago when Little Man was a baby, but who has time for exercise when you are a stay-at-home mom to three kids under 5? Of course I could have done it last year when the kids were 5,7 & 9. But I didn't.

But now that I have a deadline of when I want to have the excess weight gone I think I'll do much better. I seem to do better at stuff when I have a deadline. Like cleaning my house really good when I know I have out of town company coming.

Maybe it's my procrastinating nature, I don't know, but I sure seem to work better under pressure.

So here's hoping the pressure of seeing people I haven't seen in almost two decades will help whip my butt into shape, literally. ;)